I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
