we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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