Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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