Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
People in love make me want to vomit
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
it was like eating out sand paper
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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