Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
