He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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