I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
