Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize