No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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