There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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