your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
