saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
