I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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