I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
