God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
