I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
