Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
