another moral hangover. fuck.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
