it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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