your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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