You're completely useless in the revolution.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
