As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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