did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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