the night ended with taco bell and tears
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
