I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
