Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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