i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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