under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
