btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize