every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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