i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
