That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
