A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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