why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
