why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
