It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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