She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
