I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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