U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
