Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
