The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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