.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
