I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
