we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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