VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
