dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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