thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
