After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's blow job season.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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