their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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