I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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