i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
