I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
