They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
