You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
