just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
