bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
