I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
