Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
