how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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